With sleep comes the promise of a refreshing morning. Sleeping helps you rest and recharge so that you can chase your dreams full throttle in your waking life. While our dreams and aspirations mean the world to us, at times, when asleep, we see dreams we cannot make sense of. Even great psychologists like Freud and Jung found love making dreams fascinating and found their meanings sincerely. Though you should take dreams seriously in a symbolic sense, you mustn’t interpret them too literally or consider them overly significant unless they impair your ability to function as a normal human being.
Is Having a Dream About Making Love Common?
If you, too, have had the bizarre dream that you are making love, you are not alone. Since not everyone is shouting off their rooftops about having such dreams, it is natural that you feel there’s something wrong with you. While everyone has had such dreams at one point, their frequency, intensity, and context differ from person to person, depending upon the events in their waking life.
Trust us, it is entirely natural to have such dreams, no matter how weird or unsettled you feel. Maybe you’re surprised by the person you’re making love to in your dreams because it feels wrong, or it is someone you’re not even remotely attracted to in real life. It is also completely normal to have dreams about having sex with someone other than your partner, and it doesn’t mean you’re trying to cheat on them. But you sure will have to dig deeper into your thoughts to understand the symbolism behind the dream.
What Does It Mean When You Have a Sex Dream?
More often than not, dreams are multilayered and are symbolic of our inner world than the people that appear in our dreams.
Here is what Lauri Loewenburg, a certified dream expert, says about sex dreams.
“Sex in a dream isn’t as much about a physical union you want, as it is about a psychological union you need.” This means that despite being sexual, these dreams could reflect the current circumstances in your personal life, family relationships, or personal and professional desires.
At times, erotic dreams can also symbolize the fulfillment of a particular desire or a release of tension. Sometimes, having sex in dreams means you have achieved profound self-love and acceptance for yourself.
If your relationship is going through a rough patch, then dreams about sex can mean that deep down, you are feeling unappreciated or lonely. Hence, your primal urges are expressing themselves through your dreams. At the same time, the opposite is also equally true. The increased frequency and intensity of the sex dreams you’re experiencing may be due to the blossoming of your current relationship. But the question remains: why are you still dreaming of making love to someone other than your partner?
We can’t stress enough that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trying to cheat on them. Keep reading so that the next time you have such a dream, your waking life doesn’t become a nightmare due to feelings of shame, guilt, pity, or vulnerability.
Common Interpretations
- Desire Fulfillment: They may represent a longing—sexual, emotional, or personal—seeking expression.
- Tension Release: Erotic dreams can serve as a safety valve for stress or pent-up energy.
- Self-Love: They might reflect newfound confidence or acceptance of yourself.
- Relationship Dynamics: A rocky partnership could manifest as loneliness in the dream, while a thriving one might amplify its intensity.
The key question persists: why dream of someone other than your partner? It’s not a betrayal—it’s a symbol. Let’s explore the types of sex dreams and their meanings to ease any shame or confusion.
Dreams About Making Love to Your Ex
When it comes to sex dreams, “having sex with an ex” dreams are the most common. Then again, having such a dream isn’t a sign that you desire to get back with them or vice versa. If you’ve broken up with this particular ex recently, it means that the relationship was intense, and it will take time for you to move on. If it’s been quite a few years since the breakup and you’re happy in your current relationship but still have this dream, then it means you cannot find closure with how the relationship ended. Even if the frequency of making love to an ex increases, it starts playing with your emotions while awake with your current partner, it is high time that you get professional help.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: This could symbolize a need for forgiveness—either of your ex or yourself (“Forgive, and you will be forgiven,” Luke 6:37).
- Islamic: In Islam, dreams may reflect the soul’s state. This might urge tawbah (repentance) or patience (sabr) to heal past wounds (“Allah is with the patient,” Quran 2:153).
- Hindu: Hinduism ties dreams to karma. It could indicate unresolved samskaras (impressions), pushing you to release attachment for spiritual growth.
Dreams About Making Love to Celebrities
Most of us will happily give an arm and an eye for a date with our favorite celebrity. If you’ve been having spicy dreams about your sweetheart celebrity, it is a sign that your obsession has got a grip on you. These are the kind of dreams that will have you waking up with a cheek-to-cheek wide smile rather than feeling churned up in the stomach. Another explanation for such dreams is that you also desire the recognition and success your favorite celebrity enjoys. Such dreams also indicate that the celebrity in your dream might have a quality or played a character with qualities you either already possess or heartily desire.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: This could warn against idolatry (“You shall have no other gods before me,” Exodus 20:3), urging focus on inner worth.
- Islamic: It might highlight worldly distractions, encouraging reliance on Allah over fleeting desires (“The life of this world is but amusement,” Quran 57:20).
- Hindu: A celebrity might represent maya (illusion), prompting you to seek true fulfillment beyond material allure.
Dreams About Cheating on Your Current Partner
These are the dreams that haunt dreamers in waking life the most. Please do not blame yourself for having such dreams, as these are common and might have hidden meaning behind them. You don’t have to worry if the person you’re making love to in the dream is a stranger, as this means that the dream was nothing more than your sexual urges healthily expressing themselves. Try to remember the traits of the stranger, if any, as these traits may be indicative of the traits you have and are proud of or the traits you’re working on developing. If you know the person you see in your cheating dream, it might signal you to reassess the emotional intimacy of your friendship with them and step back if necessary.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: Adultery in dreams could call for purity of heart (“Blessed are the pure in heart,” Matthew 5:8), not literal sin.
- Islamic: It’s a test of nafs (self), urging fidelity and trust (“Do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse,” Quran 17:32).
- Hindu: This might reflect kama (desire) clashing with dharma (duty), pushing for balance.
Dreams About Having Sex With Your Teacher or Boss
Dreams of having sex with an authority figure like a teacher or a boss means that you, too, desire the qualities of a teacher or boss. Sometimes, these dreams also mean you are trying to earn their respect or approval. If work or school have been stressful lately, it is possible that you have been either spending a lot of time with your teacher or boss or that they have been occupying your mind a lot. This stress is causing them to appear everywhere, which is why you have been having erotic dreams about them, where they themselves become a medium for the much-needed “stress release.”
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: It could signify seeking guidance (“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” Proverbs 9:10).
- Islamic: Respect for authority aligns with adab (etiquette), but the dream might caution against overattachment.
- Hindu: This reflects guru-shishya dynamics, symbolizing a quest for knowledge or control.
Dreams of Making Love With a Family Member
Such dreams can make your life a living nightmare. No person in their right mind would get down and dirty with their brother or sister. It gets worse if your sexual partner in your dream is your mother or father. We know such dreams will have you getting zoned out and maintaining distance from that particular member for days, if not weeks. Please understand that having such a dream with that particular member is trying to tell you that maybe you’ve been neglecting each other emotionally or mistreating each other in your waking life. The intimacy in the dream world directs you towards taking steps to mend the relationship by sitting down and having a serious talk or through gestures that show you genuinely care for the other person.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: It might call for familial love (“Honor your father and mother,” Exodus 20:12), not taboo.
- Islamic: A reminder to uphold silaturrahim (kinship ties) (“Fear Allah through whom you demand your mutual rights,” Quran 4:1).
- Hindu: It could symbolize familial karma, pushing for harmony and duty.
Dreams of Having Sex in Public
Dreams of having sex in public are more common than you think. Ensure you note the intricate details of dreams, such as the location, the setting, the weather, and the people involved. These parameters symbolize the phase of life you are in or denote the emotional state of your heart and mind. Having sex in public in your dreams also indicates a longing for recognition or status. If the person you’re having sex with in public is known to you, then in all probability, you are seeking public recognition for the qualities this person possesses.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: Exposure might warn against pride (“Pride goes before destruction,” Proverbs 16:18).
- Islamic: It could urge modesty (“Lower your gaze,” Quran 24:30), reflecting inner conflict.
- Hindu: Public acts tie to loka (society), hinting at a need for validation or detachment.
Dreams of Making Love in the Bathroom
When you dream of having sex in the bathroom, Loewenberg believes you might have “an area of life where you need to do some cleansing and relieving.” Interestingly, the choice of partner and their nature “could be a message from your subconscious that if you unite a certain quality of this person into your life, into your behavior, it will help you cleanse that negativity.”
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: Water symbolizes purification (“Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow,” Psalm 51:7).
- Islamic: Cleansing aligns with taharah (purity), urging spiritual renewal.
- Hindu: Bathing reflects shuddhi (cleansing), a step toward liberation.
Sex Dreams About a Particular Body Part
It is common to dream about penises (erect or otherwise) and breasts in your erotic dreams. An erect penis indicates aggression and fertility, whereas a flaccid penis may indicate sexual frustration in real life. Dreaming about breasts symbolizes raw sexual energy and nourishment. Seeing a vagina in your dreams might mean that your sexual needs are not being met if you are a man, and if you’re a woman seeing a vagina in your dreams represents your femininity.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: Body parts might symbolize stewardship (“Your body is a temple,” 1 Corinthians 6:19).
- Islamic: A call to guard desires (“Control your private parts,” Quran 24:31).
- Hindu: Linked to prana (life force), urging balance of energies.
Sex Dreams About Weird Fetishes and Fantasies
Did a BDSM-themed dream absolutely arouse and engross you last night, yet you can’t make sense of it now? Perhaps you performed something unspeakable yet pleasurable on someone or wished someone did the same to you in the dream. Our sexual fantasies remain personal and private; no one, including yourself, can shame us for them. Experiencing sexual dreams about such fantasies indicates that your sexual desires remain unfulfilled. You should sit down with your otherwise vanilla partner and find a middle ground where both of you can consensually enjoy lovemaking.
Psychologically speaking, if you’ve had an overbearing parent, the need to be tied up by someone you love is completely natural. Other possible interpretations include that you either want to give up control and want others to take the initiative in real life or if you wish to dominate someone, it means that you crave control over circumstances in your waking life.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: Extreme desires might test self-control (“Master your passions,” Galatians 5:22-23).
- Islamic: A challenge to align nafs with faith (“Strive against your desires,” Hadith).
- Hindu: Fetishes tie to kama, urging moderation for moksha (liberation).
Dreaming About Someone Seducing You
Dreams of someone seducing you through intense physical stimulation can be an exhilarating experience. While it may lead us to believe that the person seducing us is our soulmate and we need to start searching for them, more often than not, it is not the case. The person seducing you expresses a side of you that wants you to be more assertive and take charge of situations in life. They reflect the masculine traits you must cultivate in your character instead of passively floating through life’s situations.
Spiritual Insights:
- Biblical: Temptation tests resolve (“Resist the devil,” James 4:7).
- Islamic: A nudge to master shahwa (lust) for Allah’s sake.
- Hindu: Seduction mirrors maya, pushing you to rise above illusion.
How to Handle Sex Dreams
Sex dreams can evoke joy, guilt, or unease, but they’re not omens to fear. Here’s how to process them:
- Stay Calm: They’re symbolic, not literal predictions.
- Reflect: Journal details—partner, setting, emotions—to uncover patterns.
- Connect: Link the dream to your life—stress, desires, relationships.
- Seek Peace: Pray, meditate, or discuss with a trusted confidant.
Spiritually, lean on faith—Christian prayer, Islamic dua, or Hindu mantras—to find balance.
Conclusion: Embracing the Wisdom of Sex Dreams
Now that you’ve read this article, your waking life won’t be made a living hell due to the sexual dream that you had last night. If you ever have such dreams in the future, you can always come back to this piece and contemplate the current circumstances of your life and how the dream relates to them. Remember that once you learn to traverse through your dreams sensically, your life can take a turn for the better, as the feelings you experience in these wet dreams can help you take ownership of your thoughts and actions, which can help shape your persona as an evolved and a better human being.