The Crab can get a little tense and nervous when spinning on an Arian merry-go-round. Because the Lunar physical-emotional metabolism is more delicate and fluctuating, the Rams can wear out Lunar people with their excessive Arian enthusiasm, which occasionally inflames even the most sheep-like Arians (and remember, they are in the minority). Consequently, the enthusiastic, slightly reckless Ram will likely often feel that the Crab disapproves of their behavior. What do these Cancers want you to do? Aries wonders. Bury your confidence and cultivate an inferiority complex, just to please them? Not necessarily. True, perhaps the Crabs would feel considerably more comfortable if the impulsive Martian rhythms could be toned down a bit, to suit their own, more cautious organ music. But Cancer’s basic insecurity will gain nothing if Aries joins him (or her) in moaning together “nobody-loves-me-everyone-hates-me-how-unhappy-I-am.” One such trauma is enough for a partnership or relationship. Why try two? Very few people realize that Aries men and women (and children) frantically seek acceptance while feverishly courting rejection with their impulsive, thoughtless behavior. Among those few who do notice are Cancerians, who themselves are abnormally sensitive to injury. Even as they seem annoyed by Aries’ impetuosity, they sense, with their keen insight, that Rams are not always as fierce as their actions suggest. Thanks to such intuition, some beautiful and solid relationships can be forged between these two Sun signs. However, since yours is a 4-10 vibration configuration, this association occurs more often in an inevitable professional, business or family setting, rather than a romantic one.
The higher personalities of any two people influenced by the 4-10 vibration may possibly come to an understanding in this way, because of the heavier Karma that needs to be leveled and harmonized, and since human nature is what it is, few people would choose the tensions and conflicts of a 4-10 soul confrontation if there were any other option. Naturally, there are also love and marital commitments between Aries and Cancer from time to time. It is just that when one finds teams consisting of a Ram and a Crab, they are more often relatives or work colleagues, or are a boss and a subordinate, or form some other kind of professional partnership. Even those Rams and Crabs who experience a mutual romantic attraction usually meet in a professional or family atmosphere, or have their first conversation around professional or family topics. If the Sun-Moon aspect in their birth charts is harmonious, this combination can be surprisingly successful financially and can be emotionally compatible. But if there is a negative Luminary or Ascendant aspect between their horoscopes, they will have to climb some steep slopes and will have to subject their souls to many tests of durability.
Aries likes to win and needs to win. He also likes to command. Now Cancer has nothing against winning or against leadership. As for the latter, remember that Cancer is a cardinal sign of leadership, despite the Crab’s efforts to hide his desire for command behind a veil of feigned indifference. Aries is also a cardinal sign, and since the Ram’s horns are as hard as the Crab’s shell, you can expect some skirmishes over who follows the leader in any game they’re involved in. This is a tricky problem, because when there are two leaders, how do you determine who follows the other? (Especially when neither of them has any intention of taking second place.) The situation seems unsolvable, but it isn’t. They can walk side by side, with neither of them leading or trailing behind. This is called compromise. Cancer tends to compromise with less regret than Aries, so it is usually the Crab who must take the initiative and propose a truce. Aries may try, too, but will somehow manage to say something inconvenient, in inconvenient terms, with an excessive dose of ego, after which the Crab will snap his pincers furiously, or burst into inconsolable tears. Very well, so now we have them (hopefully) heading side by side toward the triumphant goal, peacefully at first, until the differences between their personalities and strategies surface again. The Crab follows a somewhat zig-zag path, and never advances in a straight line like the Ram, frank and unequivocal. Cancer’s march is always circumspect, covert, and careful, even if he tells many jokes along the way to distract his companion and prevent him from noticing his technique.
While the Ram is always determined to throw out the dead weight and clear the decks for action, the Crab wants to make sure that no one throws the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. I confess that this is a very heterogeneous literary figure, but a legitimate one when discussing and describing Aries and Cancer. No one-sided metaphor, analogy or allegory would suffice to accommodate these divergent earthlings, who often look at each other as if they came from different stars or galaxies. Life is, for Aries, one colossal challenging competition. He charges headlong into obstacles, even when he has to go to great lengths to find them. If they are not there, Aries will create a few, because what’s the fun of a competition in which there are no obstacles to overcome? Indeed, obstacles attract Aries like magnets. The Ram is annoyed and bored by constant and ubiquitous compromises. When another person refuses to fight or argue, Aries becomes discouraged or angry. Such behavior sucks all the excitement out of life. In the face of any kind of opposition, Mars’ adrenaline is pumping and Aries’ vitality is instantly recharged. Let a conflict loom on the horizon, and the Ram is in heaven, bravely facing the thrill of the challenge, and experiencing the explosive excitement of meeting it victoriously. There’s nothing wrong with this, as long as Aries stops from time to time to observe that he or she is not alone in the world, and that others have feelings, too. Aries don’t mean to trample on anyone’s sensibilities, but they are so obsessed with getting there (and you can include the few more introverted sheep in this definition, along with the more ostentatious Rams), that they can be thoughtless and thoughtless without realizing it. Except for the rare Aries who have a very “badly aspected” natal Sun or Mars, the typical Ram would never deliberately mistreat someone. However, he (or she) mistreats others, and especially hypersensitive Crabs.
By now you’ll see that one of the problems between Aries and Cancer is that of vulnerable sensitivity. Aries have little or no awareness of this peculiar weakness of theirs… which clashes with their self-image as strong individuals. So when an Aries is hurt, the Mars-influenced reaction is either to immediately deny the fact, or to fly into a defensive rage. Cancer’s vulnerability is carefully hidden, so its typical reaction when hurt is to crawl into the Crab’s shell and sulk. If the wound is deep enough, the reaction may be accompanied by a few gallons of tears, and sometimes lunar sensitivity peeks out from behind the lunatic mood. When these two hurt each other, one of them (Cancer) sinks into ink-stained grief, or into an offended silence punctuated by angry clacking of pincers. The other (Aries), frustrated by Cancer’s evasive strategy, feels powerless to take steps to resolve the disagreement that separates them, and may become furious and unleash a flood of words and actions that will, predictably, only induce the Crab to bury himself even deeper in the sands of silent sulking.
Let’s go back to Nature for a moment, following the channels of astrological symbolism, and imagine an exasperated ram, his horns pounding the hard shell of an impenetrable crab, which is frantically digging deeper and deeper into the sand on the beach. On the beach? What is a ram doing frolicking on the beach, beside the mysterious ocean, after all? He is out of his element. (He or she, if it is an Aries woman.) Just as the crab would lose its way if it tried to crawl up the rocky mountainsides where the ram is most comfortable. It takes a Sun-Moon trine or conjunction between their horoscopes, or a great deal of understanding on both their parts, to bring these two very different astrological creatures together on mutually acceptable emotional ground. Even then, even if they learn to tolerate each other, and help each other grow, evolve and learn, their differences will still be clearly visible. It’s true that Cancers can hide in the closet when someone hurts their feelings, and that they are usually laconic and thoughtful (except when they make us laugh with their jokes), but Aries should not consider them totally impassive, malleable or incapable of resistance. They may not brandish the flaming sword of Mars and prefer to face obstacles with serenity, discretion and patience, but Crabs are not trembling, soft and fearful beings. Correction: they are trembling, soft and fearful beings, but the Ram should not forget the hard shell under which they hide while they shiver and tremble.
It is not advisable to knock on him with your knuckles. Whereas the Ram is prone to attack instantly and openly when his safety is threatened, the Cancer man or woman will first try to find the underlying cause of the problem as carefully as possible, and then gradually maneuver his way out of it with a secret strategy and incredible tenacity. The Crab’s ability to latch onto a toe, an ear, a finger—or an idea—until he gets what he wants should never be overlooked or underestimated. (This is true for both male and female Crab.) Aries and Cancer have different motivations, different attitudes toward life—and different goals. But if each of them gives the other a little of his intrinsic goodness, both of their lives will be greatly enriched. This is a combination of Fire and Water; therefore, each of them subconsciously knows that the other can destroy him. Too much Aries Fire can dehydrate Cancer’s delicate feelings. Too much Cancer Water can smother the Ram’s enthusiasm and bright hopes. In astrology, Fire represents optimism, and Water represents pessimism. The two elements seem to be incompatible, but another word for pessimism is “caution,” something Aries would do well to experiment with… and another word for optimism is “faith,” a virtue that Cancer would serve well. If they were willing to take the time to translate the message intended for their respective hearts, who knows how high the Ram and the Crab could soar together. Perhaps to the Moon… or Mars.